In a world where phones are ever-present, it's easy to forget that they can be a source of distraction and irritation for others. The recent incident at a West End theatre, where actor Rosamund Pike addressed the issue of texting during performances, has brought this to the forefront. While it's understandable that we're addicted to our phones, it's crucial to consider the impact of our actions on those around us. So, what are the essential rules of phone etiquette in today's world? Let's dive in and explore the dos and don'ts of modern phone behaviour, with a focus on the theatre, restaurants, and public spaces.
When to Switch Off
Personally, I think that phones should be a complement to our lives, not a distraction. In any setting where we're trying to focus on others, such as a theatre or cinema, I believe it's essential to switch off our phones. Even if we think we're being discreet, the bright screen and the temptation to check messages can ruin someone else's experience. As William Hanson, an etiquette expert, points out, phones should be there to enhance our lives, not detract from them. So, when in a performance, switch off and immerse yourself in the story.
Phone Etiquette in Restaurants
In a restaurant, it's crucial to keep your phone off the table and out of sight. Not only does it prevent distractions for yourself and others, but it also shows respect for the dining experience. As Hanson suggests, we often have a Pavlovian response to our phones, where we feel compelled to check them even when they're not urgent. Unless you're an on-call surgeon, the notification can wait. So, keep your phone away and enjoy the meal without the distraction.
Urgent Calls and Public Spaces
If you're expecting an urgent call, it's best to inform the person you're with at the beginning. As Myka Meier, author of 'Modern Etiquette Made Easy', suggests, a simple 'Please excuse me. If it happens to come through during this lunch, I'll just be a moment' can go a long way. However, never take the call at the table. Take it outside, away from the communal area, to respect the space of those around you.
Ringtones and Headphones
When in a public space, it's essential to be mindful of others. As Mariah Humbert, an etiquette expert, points out, unless you rely on your phone's sounds due to vision or hearing loss, all noises should be switched off. Our phones have evolved to offer user-friendly vibrate options, so there's no need for the ringer to be on. Whenever you're in a public space, either have your headphones on or turn the ringer off.
Interacting with Others
When interacting with someone, it's crucial to take out your headphones, even for a brief moment. As Humbert suggests, this simple gesture shows respect and acknowledges the person in front of you. Whether it's paying for your coffee or interacting with a train conductor, taking out your headphones is a small but significant way to show consideration.
Voice Notes and Relationships
The use of voice notes largely depends on the relationship. While short and amusing recordings are acceptable, long and rambling ones are not. As Meier points out, it's essential to be mindful of the recipient's time and convenience. If you're sending a voice note, keep it relatively short, and consider sending a quick text to let the recipient know what it's about and its relative importance.
Texting Etiquette
When it comes to texting, it's crucial to respect the recipient's time. As Hanson suggests, schedule texts to avoid midnight messages. For work-related messages, between 8 am and 7 pm is generally acceptable. However, avoid sending business-related texts after usual office hours, as they can feel more urgent and put pressure on the recipient to reply.
Calling Etiquette
In today's world, phone calls are considered more invasive, especially for younger generations. As Dr Zoetanya Sujon, programme director for communications and media, points out, younger people use phones in a different way from older people. Calls are not their primary means of communication, and they're more likely to ring only people close to them. So, if you're calling someone from Gen Z, send a text first to check if they're free and comfortable with the call.
Punctuation and Emojis
Finally, let's talk about punctuation and emojis. As someone who values good punctuation, I find it rude when younger people criticise my full stops and thumbs-up emojis. However, as Humbert suggests, it's essential to be mindful of generational differences. While younger people may find full stops abrupt, it's about having more understanding as both a recipient and sender. So, if you're older, try not to judge the 'brain rot' and 'AI slop' that younger people use. It's a way for them to have fun and express themselves, even if it's not your cup of tea.
In conclusion, while phones are an integral part of our lives, it's crucial to be mindful of their impact on others. By following these essential rules of phone etiquette, we can create a more respectful and considerate environment for everyone, whether we're in a theatre, restaurant, or public space.
